Scenario:
I am walking down a deserted street with my wife and my 2 children. Suddenly, Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein come around the corner and are running at us while screaming obscenities and wielding scimitars. In my hand is a Glock .40 and I am an expert shot. I have mere seconds before they reach us. What do I do?
If I were a Liberal…
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Do they look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to them that is inspiring them to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the scimitars out of their hands?
What does the law say about this situation?
Is it possible they’d be happy with just killing me?
Do they definitely want to kill me or would they just be content to wound me?
If I were to grab their knees and hold on, could my family get away while they were stabbing me? This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
If I were a Conservative…
BANG!
But since I am not a Liberal or a Conservative…
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)
Wife: “Sweetheart, he looks like he’s still moving. What do you kids think?”
Son: “Mom’s right, Dad, I saw them flinch.”
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: “Nice group, Daddy! Center mass! Can we go home now?”
That’s the way I am.
Disclaimer: This scenario does not reflect my political views. Humorous purposes only. Not responsible for content.
