The second of three the epidurals. Here are just a few of my thoughts. This blog entry has been in the making for the past two weeks. Sorry, there are no pictures.
I have been in excruciating pain in my right buttock and groin area whenever I stand or sit.
My doctor upgraded my Vicodin prescription to "extra strength" at my request. Even this provides only "temporary" relief. My tolerance for pain is very high, but such is not the case right now.
My desert trip to Agua Caliente with Kindra was a relief to get out of the house. The small hike did wonders for my mental well-being. It was nice to get outdoors again. I was ever so careful not to stumble or slip. The pain haunted my weekend. The ride down and back was uneventul for some reason. I did not experience any discomfort.
My parents call to check up on me daily. My father had a herniated disc when he was in the Army. He has metal pins in his back and the scars to prove it. My father's surgery was in 1968 and I know there has been great strides in treatment of herniated discs since then. He knows my pain. My mother worries to the point of aggravating me. "Mom, I am an adult...I will be just fine...I will be careful...Mom, please, don't worry about me!" I have the greatest parents in the world. I love them both.
At the start of the year I weighed 183 pounds. I am now down to 173. I attribute my weight loss to muscular atrophy due to inactivity. My leg muscles are not as firm and strong. I haven't ridden in more than a month. This time last year I rode for over 870 miles. This year? Only 124. I haven't ridden my bike since January 27.
I haven't hiked as much either. This time last year I hiked over 180 miles and this year I have hiked 29 miles.
The news about going to hike Mt. Whitney again has given me hope. First things first. First I must get better, then I will proceed with the training. I have five months to prepare. I can only imagine the jubilation I will experience while at the top of that 14,497 foot piece of 60 million year-old granite outcropping in the eastern Sierra Nevada.
I can accept the fact that I may not make it to the top. Getting to the top is optional and getting down is mandatory. I do not want to be a burden on my friends. I have been to the summit three times, but I want my friends to experience their chance of a lifetime. They worry about my well-being. I tell them not to worry. I will help them get to the top.
I have paid my $15 to hike Whitney to secure my spot on the team and I am going to do it! I have made camping reservations at Lone Pine Campground and hotel reservations at the one of the hotels.
Showers and dressing up to go to work are discomforting. It is very difficult just to put on my right sock and clip my toenails. It just sucks the wind right out of me and there is a groan with a few profane words. It hurts to cough or sneeze.
Ice and heat therapy provide only temporary relief, too. However, it is part of my daily regimen. An ounce of prevention...
Coming to work seems to agonize my condition. (Who doesn't experience this whenever they come to work!) Sitting down is not good. I have to constantly stand and move around ever so gently. Driving can be a challenge during the accelerating and braking with the right leg. I only live three miles from work, but they are the longest three miles.
I hear stories from my co-workers and friends who view this blog who have also had to endure what I am enduring right now. Steroid shots, surgery, acupuncture, orthopedists, neurologists, physical therapy are some of the many their suggestions and experiences. They feel my pain. They can see my pain.
I see people jogging, riding and hiking. Oh I wish. Someday I will again.
I must say that this "pain" is more tolerable than the "wretching" over the last couple of years.
What if I don't get better? What if I do need surgery? So be it.
What if I am confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life? So be it. I get to park in those blue spaces with a blue placard dangling from my rearview mirror! My wheelchair will be narrower and lighter with with knobby tires! I may be limited due to terrain features, but that ain't gonna stop me from trying to "hike" the trails! I know I am not the only one who has these same ideas! I believe there is already a wheelchair designed just for offroading! Imagine that!
To Mom and Dad, MJ, Kindra, Joe, Garv, Kandy, Amy, Bruin Dave and Jane, Kathy and Brydon, Rhonda, Daphne, Horacio, Jonathan, Karen, Bob, Mariana: I want thank you for the support and advice. PMA - positive mental attitude.
I did not request permission to give up.
