EPIDURAL NO. 1

The pain still shakes me...

The epidural has provided no relief from the pain in my right hip area. The only relief I get is when I am lying down on the floor or on the bed. Once I start moving around, the pain returns. However, the pain is not as intense as it was last week.

I went to Ikea to shop. The pain was so intense I had to sit down in one of the comfortable chairs until I could walk again.

I know one shot does not constitute full recovery status. I am ready for another epidural this Friday, but I am not scheduled until March 10.

I am going to call my doctor to prescribe me pain medication. Vicodin does not help. Now I am concerned about becoming addicted to the pain medications.

That I do not need in my life.

SAY WHAT?

I received in the mail my MRI results from NDC. I called my doctor and left a message to explain all this medical mumbo-jumbo. He returned my call and we went over what the heck I was reading. I asked my doctor, "On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worse case scenario, where am I at on the scale?"

His reply was, "About a 3 or 4."

I like those numbers.

MRI LUMBAR SPINE WITH CONTRAST

CLINICAL HISTORY: Worsening sciatica

PROCEDURE: Coronal and sagittal T1-weighted, sagittal T2-weighted, and axial dual-echo sequences of the lumbar spine were performed on a 1.5T Siemens Vision Magnetic Resonance Imaging System. Postgadolinium axial and sagittal T1-weighted images were also performed.

FINDINGS: There is normal anatomic alignment of the lumbar spine. There is normal bone marrow signal intensity.

The T12-L1, L1-L2, and L2-L3 intervertebral discs appear intact.

At the L3-L4 disc level there is moderate disc desiccation with associated mild degenerative endplate changes and minimal anterior and marginal osteophyte formation. In addition, there is a 5 to 6 mm (anteroposterior) broadbased left paracentral-lateral disc extrusion which is abutting posteriorly displacing, i.e. apparently impinging upon the traversing left L4 nerve root. This is best demonstrated on image number 28 of the axial T2-weighted sequence and postcontrast image number 6 of the sagittal T1-weighted sequence. There is resultant moderate to severe compression upon the left ventral aspect of the thecal sac. The extruded disc extends by approximately 5 mm in the cephalocaudal dimension posterior of the left aspect of the L4 vertebral body. In addition, there is moderate facet joint arthropathy with resultant mild central canal stenosis and mild bilateral neural foraminal stenosis.

At the L4-L5 disc level there is moderate disc desiccation with associated mild degenerative endplate changes and small anterior and marginal osteophyte formation. In addition, there is a 3 mm broadbased posterior central disc protrusion with resultant mild compression upon the ventral aspect of the thecal sac. There is a tear of the central aspect posterior annulus. In addition, there is moderate facet joint arthropathy which in combination with the disc protrusion and congenitally shortened pedicles has resulted in mild central canal and mild bilateral neural foraminal stenosis.

At the L5-S1 disc level there is moderate disc desiccation with associated mild degenerative endplate changes. In addition, there is a 3 to 4 mm asymmetric broadbased posterior disc bulge which is more prominent in the right lateral aspect central canal where it is abutting without significantly displacing the traversing right S1 nerve root. This is best demonstrated on image number 41 of the axial T2-weighted sequence. In addition, there is moderate facet joint arthropathy at this level which in combination with congenitally shortened pedicles has resulted in mild central canal and mild left neural foraminal stenosis. There is no significant right neural foraminal stenosis.

The conus, medullaris, and thecal sac otherwise appear normal. There is no evidence of abnormal enhancement following contrast administration. The limited imaging of the prevertebral soft tissues is unremarkable.

IMPRESSION:

1. L3-L4: 5 to 6 mm (anteroposterior) broadbased left paracentral-lateral disc extrusion which is abutting posteriorly displacing, i.e., apparently impinging upon the traversing left L4 nerve root. There is resultant moderate to severe compression upon the left ventral aspect of the thecal sac. In addition, there is moderate facet joint arthropathy with resultant mild central canal stenosis and mild bilateral neural foraminal stenosis.

2. L4-L5: 3 mm broadbased posterior central disc protrusion with resultant mild compression upon the ventral aspect of the thecal sac. There is a tear of the central aspect posterior annulus. In addition, there is moderate face joint arthropathy with in combination with the disc protrusion and congenitally shortened pedicles has resulted in mild central canal and mild bilateral neural foraminal stenosis.

3. L5-S1: 3 to 4 mm asymmetric broadbased posterior disc bulge which is more prominent in the right lateral aspect central canal where it is abutting without significantly displacing the traversing right S1 nerve root. In addition, there is moderate facet joint arthropathy at this level which in combination with congenitally shortened pedicles has resulted in mild central canal and mild left neural foraminal stenosis. There is no significant right neural foraminal stenosis.

EPIDURAL

My family doctor-referred anesthesiologist called to schedule sessions for my epidural.

The three sessions will be two weeks apart. My first session is Friday, February 24 at 11:30 a.m. He wanted to do it on Monday, February 20, but I have other issues with the exterminator man that day.

My co-worker and "hiking wife," Kindra, has offered to take me to the clinic. It is a coincidence that we are going to the same clinic I took her to when she went for her epidurals. Strange, but true.

After the sessions, I will be sedated and I will be in no condition to drive. This should be fun!

Imagine me trying to explain to the CHP officer why I was driving erratically: "But ociffer, I had uh edipural and me under evy shedayshun and I wuz on my waaaaaaaaaaaay hoam. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Humor is the best medicine.

I figured Fridays would be good since it extends my weekend and gives me two days to rest during the weekend.

I have also decided to go for a walk in Crystal Cove State Park. No pack. I have a Camelbak FlashFlo pack that I will use. I will shoot for 3 miles on relatively flat trails. From the parking lot to the junction of Poles, Mach One, and El Moro Canyon is about 1.5 miles. My two hiking friends, Garv and Joe, will hike the route I scheduled. We will probably grab a bite to eat afterwards.

The forecast calls for some rain. How much will fall in Crystal Cove State Park is anybody's guess. If the trails are too muddy, I will not walk it in fear of slipping and falling and really screwing things up.

Wouldn't be prudent.

MRI

Had my very first MRI this morning at Newport Diagnostics.

I went to my doctor yesterday to tell him my sciatica still lingers. Now it is painful in my left hip and it feels like my leg is on fire. The Lodine, Flexeril, Vicodin, Ibuprofen, Darvocet does not work. It is difficult to sit down and enjoy a meal or watch TV or drive for that matter. I haven't ridden my bike for quite some time either.

He scheduled me for an MRI for the next day. There was an opening at 9 a.m. on Valentine's Day.

I drove to the clinic and filled out some paperwork and sat and waited. About 40 minutes later my name was called and I was escorted to a small room and was asked to take my shirt and pants off and put on the gown. Reminded me of "Animal House": Toga, toga, toga, toga....

They had me put on a gown and lie down on the table. They put on a pair of headphones with classical music from Mozart. They raised the table and the radiologist said, "See you in 15 minutes."

"Beam me up, Scotty, it is time to get resonated."

Weird sensation being inserted into a tube with super-magnets.

To avoid feeling claustrophic, I closed my eyes as I listened to the soothing classical music.

Then I heard this "techno" beat sound. Sounded like a jackhammer.

I started to feel a little warm and uncomfortable. I kept thinking of the movie, "The Fly." Are we done yet?

As soon as I thought that, I was slowly being withdrawn into reality. Oooooooooooo....

I was still feeling warm and the radiologist assured me it was the MRI. I was told the machine does warm you up. Skinny people complain of chills. Guys like me with huge muscle mass tend to get warm. Whatever.

Then I was slowly being withdrawn from the tube. The radiologist said, "We need to do a contrast."

So, the radiologist inserted the stuff in my veins and went back in for another 5 minutes.

After that, it was all done.

Now my next concern is what the results will be. The radiologist said it will be one to two days until my doctor will contact me.

I hope it is nothing serious, because I have a couple of mountains to climb...

Mt. Whitney (14,497) and Mt. Rainier (14,410).

POW WOW FOR PABLO

Bob, me, Ken, and Gary of the Fugowhee Tribe. We were the last active members of the team. We played a lot of games together. A lot of games.

We muster at the Claim Jumper in Santa Ana for one last tribute in honor of Paul.



I do not know their names, but they were some of the many mourners in attendance.

"Batman", me, Bob, Gary, and Ken. We are the "Fugowhee!"

As we gathered and ordered our drinks, Batman stood up and proposed a toast. We relived old times. We drank and ate.

The crowd started to thin out. I asked Kathy to take a shot of the four of us outside Claim Jumper.

Afterwards, an eerie feeling came over me and I returned to Fairhaven Memorial Park. I drove up to the spot, got out, took a picture and said, "Paul, we had a get together in your honor. I just thought you might want to know that. Then again you are up there looking down so why am I here?"

And I bet his response was, "You dumb jarhead!"

I smiled and chuckled. I walked away. Got into my vehicle. Took one last glance and drove off.

I shed a tear.

THE MEMORY REMAINS

Today was rather a very difficult day for me and for all of us who knew Paul.

As always, and anyone can attest to this, I always arrived early to all of our ballgames just to get mentally and physically prepared. Such was the case today. I got to the cemetery around 8: 40 a.m. I drove by Lawn AW where Paul was to be put to eternal rest. I couldn't stay and wait for the others to show up at 10:30 so I visited my friend Ken at the Chevrolet dealership where he works that was nearby the memorial park.

As I drove, I drove past the school where Paul and I had batting practice with some of the women on our co-ed team. Paul had a lot of patience. I ran out of gas shagging balls.

Then I got to Glassell Street/Grand Avenue. Off to the north on the other side of the 22 Freeway is W.O. Hart Memorial Park. Many Fugowhee softball games were played on those two fields. Fond memories.

When I arrived at the dealership, I walked inside to the receptionist's desk and I had the receptionist tell Ken that I was here. Ken emerged from his office and we walked outside to the parking lot where our vehicles were.

We walk to his car and he opens up the car door and he hands me his Fugowhee jersey. I cannot recall if I had thrown my jersey away because it didn't fit or that I stored it somewhere else. Nonetheless, Ken came through. My jersey number was 19. His was 11. We chatted outside for a while then went back inside to give him my new mailing address to update their database.

I drove back to the cemetery and got there around 9:30. I walked around with jersey in my right hand. I noticed joggers and walkers. Strange. I could never jog in a cemetery.

I noticed an old familiar face pulling up into the cemetery entrance. It was Dave aka Batman. I waved at him as he drove by and he had this perplexed look on his face. He didn't recognize until I introduced myself. He drove 4 hours from Santa Maria to say goodbye to his friend.

As I strolled back to Lawn AW I noticed Ken had pulled up behind my truck. He had his jersey on and I in turn put mine on.

People started arriving. Old faces. Old faces with forgotten names. Faces with no names, but were friends of Paul and his family.

My other good friend and teammate Bob arrived and he was carrying a placard with the picture I had placed in my blog. The picture was of crystal clear quality. Much better than the one on my blog. I made a comment to Bob, "If it were our time to go, then we should all go at once so that we wouldn't be doing this."

Then I saw Gary arrive with his girlfriend, Kathy. A few months ago, Ken and Paul told me he got married so I offered my hand of congratulations. He wasn't married. Ken and Paul were pulling my leg. Insert foot in mouth. It was all in good gesture.

More people started to arrive. I estimate the mourners to be 100 or more.

Paul's mother, Gabrielle, arrived with her daughter, Kit, and her son-in-law. I never did get his name.

The Reverend Rose was fantastic. I was singled out to step forward to share with the others in attendance on the meaning of our team jersey, "Fugowhee." To make a long story short, the name came to be when a band of ancient Native Americans walked to the top of Santiago Peak and exclaimed, "Where the fug ow whee?"

After telling that story the people gathered burst into laughter amidst their tears of sorrow. I told of how Paul got "peppered" by a line drive and a hard throw. I told of how he wasn't the best baserunner in the world but he always ran out every hit whether he was safe or out. I talked about his fight with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I touched on a few other topics but I was getting a little choked up and felt it was best I exit center stage before breaking down. Ken and Bob congratulated me on my oration.

There was another gentleman in attendance who stepped forward to speak and told of Paul's chili. He told a great story.

After the services, I approached the Reverend and told him that he gave a great service. He hit on a few things that made me think as I stood by the casket. My eyes panned the many faces with tears in their eyes. I did not shed a tear. I knew Paul wouldn't tolerate seeing a "sea going bellhop" cry since he was Navy and I was in the Marines.

I noticed my ex-wife Mary in attendance. I thanked her for coming and gave her a hug. Paul was her friend as much as mine.

I stayed around and made my way to see old friends and teammates. There was one gentleman who introduced himself and told me that he and Paul started playing softball together in 1970. Incredible. That is a long time!

Another gentleman approached me saying that Paul was a big NASCAR fan and Greg Biffle. I did not know that.

It was decided to have lunch at Claim Jumper as a final tribute. I walked around certain groups to tell them of our intentions. I tried not to have the Donaldson family hear of our plans out of respect for their grief.

I got into my truck and rolled down the windows and hit the Guns N' Roses version of "Knocking on Heaven's Door" and headed down to Claim Jumper.

KNOCKING ON HEAVEN'S DOOR

Ken, Bob, Paul and me at Wallaby's in Santa Ana.

The four of us are the best of friends.

That's me kneeling on the far right yelling, "TIME TO BREED!"

Glory days at Centennial Park in Santa Ana after winning the mens' Sunday softball league championship in the spring of 1989.

Graveside services will be on Tuesday, February 7, 2006 at 10:30 a.m. at Fairhaven Memorial Park in Santa Ana in Lawn AW. Bob, Ken and I will be wearing our Fugowhee softball team jerseys in tribute to our dear beloved friend.

This obituary appeared in the Orange County Register on Wednesday, February 8, 2006:

Paul W. Donaldson, 56, of Tustin, an accountant, died Feb. 1, 2006, of congestive heart failure. Services have been held. Arrangements by Fairhaven Memorial Park & Mortuary, Santa Ana. Survivors: Mother, Gabrielle; sister, Kit Katz.

I received a phone call last night from one of my friends and old Fugowhee softball teammates, Bob. He called to inform me that Paul, fellow teammate and all around good friend, passed away sometime early February 1. He got the news from Ken.

I called Ken's home phone and left a message. He later returned my call. Apparently it was pneumonia. Ken has known Paul since 1980. I cannot imagine how he felt when he first heard the news.

I do not know at this time when the services will be. There are two things in this world I do not like to go to: funerals and hospitals.

Paul used to live in an apartment around Old Town Tustin. He eventually moved in with his mother who has Alzheimer's. I do not know how Mrs. D is doing now that her son has passed away.

Paul was my tax guy for a while. He was an airshow fanatic, especially the one at Chino Airport. We would often frequent Flo's for breakfast. He was our pitcher on the Fugowhee softball team. He always needed a courtesy runner if he reached base safely, because he had weak knees. The one thing you never saw him do was give up. He ran out every hit hobbling down the first base line. We played softball almost every night of the week in mens and co-ed leagues in Orange and Santa Ana. I had a lot of trophies to prove it.

There was one game in particular that we played in Centennial Park in Santa Ana. I was the catcher. There was a hard hit line drive up the middle. Unfortunately Paul was in its path. It caromed off of him. He had no time to react. He winced in pain as he circled the pitcher's plate. And if that wasn't enough "insult to injury" the third baseman picks up the ball to throw to first and hits Paul on the side of the head. Ouch! Poor Paul. All this was happening right before my eyes. If it were me I would have gone down for the count. Not Paul. He hung there. Finished the inning. Finished the game. We won. Afterwards while downing pizza and beer we recounted the game's highlights. We busted a gut. Paul gave me one of his "evil stares" but eventually Paul was laughing, too.

We used to go to Claim Jumper in Santa Ana every Friday night for male bonding night. It would be me, Ken and Paul talking about stuff. We also used to go to Claim Jumper every Sunday morning when they served breakfast. We would waltz in to the bar, plop our Sunday paper down on the counter, order breakfast, and then eat as we read the sports page or comics. I always ordered the "Kitchen Sink Omelet" with extra side of hash browns.

There were other watering holes where we would muster. Louie Louie's especially after batting practice. Pineapple Hill Grill. Benjies. Wallaby's aka Slammy's aka OBs.

I never went to Tustin Tiller Days to taste some of Paul's chili. Maybe it was good I didn't.

A couple of years ago, Paul was stricken with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (NHL). I was going to ride in his honor for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training cycling team, but never got around to doing it. He pulled through. Just like his baserunning, he never gave up.

I last saw Paul at the Santa Ana Claim Jumper on Friday, January 20, 2006. I hadn't seen him in a while. My friend Ken and I were already there chatting. We got to talking about Paul and how he "looked like sh*t."

Then Paul walked in. He did not look good.

We talked for a little bit. Then it was time for me to leave. We shook hands and said, "See you later."

I was in sorting things out in the garage when I came across that softball picture. That night I had a dream that I attended Paul's funeral. I remember distinctly during the wake. He was wearing his Fugowhee jersey #17. Eerie.

My heart goes out to Paul's family.

Paul, have fun up there in heaven. Just think NO MORE TAXES! No more struggling to meet deadlines or filing extensions with all your clients around April 15. I bet you are trying to convince St. Peter and God to file 1040 EZ. I can imagine that heaven is THE PLACE for an airshow with chalet seating and all the Conmemorativo tequila you can drink. Easy on the spices in the chili too, Paul! We don't want God to experience any Divine Wind.

Goodbye, Paul, I will miss you.