HOW TO SPEND YOUR REBATE...

As you may have heard, Nancy Pelosi, Senator Reid and George Bush have said each and every one of us would now get a nice rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If we spend it on gasoline, it will all go to the Arabs.

If we purchase a computer, it will all go to India.

If we purchase fruit and vegetables, it will all go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala.

If we purchase a good car, it will all go to Japan.

If we purchase useless crap, it will all go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, beer and visit the Native-American Indian Casinos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

WEED WHACKERS WE

Yesterday, I went to the holy city of Oakhurst to take the mower in for repairs. I was going to go to True Value and pick up the manual versions of the weed whacker both heavy and light duty. With these tools you can work on your golf game or work on batting practice. Anyhow the repair guy says two weeks? Two weeks? Great, what I don't need to hear.

After stopping at Raley's to pick up some groceries, I somehow took a "detour" to the Sears in town. Lo and behold there it was: a piece of art...a 6.25 horsepower, gas-powered, Briggs and Stratton weed whacker out in front for all to see including me. On sale, too, for $100 less! Clearance. Must go! I called Pam on the cellphone and asked her should I purchase it. We debated for a while. Meanwhile my mind is thinking the lawn mower won't be fixed for another couple of weeks, meaning the grass and weeds will be as tall as the sequoias by then. Logic persevered...bought it and brought it home. There were no "hard labor" versions at the Sears store.

Got home and took it out of the box. Filled it with oil (came with it) and poured in the gasoline. Primed it. Started it. First pull! Then it was off to the "jungle."

Wow! I was cutting down the grass like nothing. After about 3 hours of mowing, my body was aching all over, but after looking at the work I had done, I was very happy I made the purchase and got the job done. There is still more to do but a majority of it was tackled.

Today, Pam and I went back to Oakhurst to look for the hard labor weed whackers. True Value did not have them. The True Value in Coarsegold had the light duty version. But, the True Value in Yosemite Lakes had the heavy hitter.

When we came home, it was time to start hacking. We cleared the recommened 100 feet from the home to satisfy the fire department. Wasn't easy, but we did it.

After sweating and toiling in the spring afternoon under beautifuly sunny skies, we whacked weeds.

Job well done. Yes, we are both sore, but happy.

@PRISON vs @WORK

Just To Make Things Clearer...

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.

@ PRISON
You spend most of your time in a 10x10 cell.
@ WORK
You spend most of your time in a 6x6 cubicle.

@ PRISON
You get three meals a day, fully paid for.
@ WORK
You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

@ PRISON
For good behavior, you get time off.
@ WORK
For good behavior, you get more work.

@ PRISON
The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
@ WORK
You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself.

@ PRISON
You can watch TV and play games.
@ WORK
You could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

@ PRISON
You get your own toilet.
@ WORK
You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat.

@ PRISON
They allow your family and friends to visit.
@ WORK
You aren't even supposed to speak to your family.

@ PRISON
All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
@ WORK
You must pay all your expenses to got to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

@ PRISON
You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
@ WORK
You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

@ PRISON
You must deal with sadistic wardens.
@ WORK
They are called "managers."

WHO DAT?

Who is the person who decides what a gallon of gas will cost on the market?

NEVER WOULD I HAVE THOUGHT...

To prepare for the grass cutting ritual, I couldn't decide on what to wear...

So I decided to wear my REI convertible pants and Columbia hiking shirt...my hiking clothes have become my work clothes?

Such a travesty.

THE GRASS GROWS GREEN ON THE...

The hills are still painted white and the surrounding foothills are a luscious green.

With the rains, things grow. Especially grass. When grass grows, normally you would think to cut it. Well, for the first time in in over 15 years I do believe, I cranked up the mower and starting mowing the tall grass...yes, tall grass...as in up to your knees tall type of grass.

Stall...start...stall...start...stall...start. The agony of it all. Then something happened to the mower. I would prime it, pull it and then it would come to life and then die. I gave up. Something in the line? Nope. Something in the tank? Nope. Bad gasoline? Nope. I siphoned the gas out of the mower tank and left the lid off to dry out whatever could be in there.

My wife did say the mower had been through a lot. I agree. Will try again this weekend to see if I can finish what I started.

DANGER! DANGER

On the final switchback up to Whitney Portal, this slab of granite finally broke off.

Imagine if you will seeing this rock fall onto the side of the road just as you drive by.