DEAR DEAD DEER DEED

An interesting event happened this morning before leaving for work.

I went to the truck to load up some gear since my wife and I decided to drive in separate vehicles. I noticed two deer in the open field adjacent to the RV shed. They were approximately 30 yards away. I tried calling them over, but they went about their merry way.

I finished up and headed back to the house. As I opened the gate, a buck just sprouting his horns was in our backyard. He came in through the other gate I always left open.

He is rutting. I try to let him out the gate but he refuses to move. He rears up on his rear legs and starts hitting me with his front hooves.

"Okay, so you want to play around, huh?" I keep looking up at the house hoping my wife would come out and see what was going on. She didn't.

I go up to the house to alert my wife about the deer in the enclosed area of our yard. "I wonder who you were talking to."

She dashes outside to see the deer next to the spa.

"Be careful, he's rutting."

As soon as I said that, he snorts at her. Now, I am thinking, if this deer gets spooked, he will hurt someone or hurt itself trying to escape by jumping over the fence or jumping through a window.

The .270 Winchester is in a locked safe. No time to get it. I have my .44 in its holster. It is my only option.

Our game plan is to get the deer out of the enclosed area without incident. I go back into the house and grab my sidearm.

My wife gets the deer to follow her out to the front of the house while I grab the military entrenching tool with wooden handle from the garden. I am packing my .44 caliber. My wife's sidearm is in the car.

I tell my wife, "As soon as you are close enough to the car, get in it."

I see the deer following my wife to the car and then both disappearing around the corner of the house.

A split-second later, I hear cries for help.

I see my wife being knocked to the ground by the buck. She is hitting the buck with her left fist on the snout while down on the ground on her right side. The deer doesn't flinch. He is not doing anything, but my wife is down on the ground, and he is now a threat.

With the entrenching tool in my left hand, I swung and clobbered the buck flush on the side of the head. Didn't even phase him. I take another swing only this time I hit him with the edge of the tool to the side just below the head on the neck.

Blood is now spurting from the deep wound. A direct hit to the carotid is my only guess. The deer wanders off toward open ground.

Waiting for opportunity, I draw my sidearm from the holster while I am screaming at the deer. As soon as the deer is far enough away from my wife and the house, I fire off three shots point blank to the head. The deer collapses. Still kicking. Two more shots to the chest. No movement.

My wife was visibly shaken. She got a gash in the palm of her right hand from the fall onto the gravel in the driveway.

I call Uncle T to let him know what happened and said he will be there in a flash to field dress the carcass.

I help my wife get cleaned up as I check myself for deer blood. I have a one-inch mark on my right arm from my encounter with the buck at the carport.

I escort my wife back out to her car and she drives off. "Be careful. I spotted two more deer earlier."

As I get ready to leave, Uncle T shows up. I direct him to the deer is. He pulls out his black bag from his car. In it is every knife one could possibly own. It is almost like he is a military field surgeon. He is field dressing it right away. "I like these house calls."

After arriving at work, I email my wife to check on her. Normally, she orders a Grande at Starbucks, but this time she bought a Venti. She also told me the ranchers were rounding up cattle on the backroad and having them cross the road to get them into the other pasture. She asks me, "What is up with the animals today?"

She told her co-workers what happened and from what I gathered, they busted a gut. Yes, it is funny since you weren't there.

I didn't want to kill the animal. My number one priority was to protect my wife. With the adrenaline racing through my body, I had a lucky strike to the base of the deer's skull. I couldn't let it suffer, either. I had no other choice but to kill it to put it out of misery.

LEMON ORANGE LIME

In observance of Arbor Day, April 24, 2010, we planted a dwarf lemon tree in our backyard.

On April 25, 2010, we planted a dwarf orange tree.

On May 1, 2010, we planted a lime tree.

Within 5 years, we hope to harvest the "fruits" of our labor.

As far as the other fruit trees, the blossoms are abundant on the granny smith and gala apple trees. The grapefruit tree has a gazillion buds on it. The plum, peach, and apricot are showing little fruit on the limbs. The grapevine shows a lot of bunches getting ready to grow.